Intro: me

This is my very first blog, so forgive me if it's a little awkward and all over the place.  I'm going to just introduce myself (sort of) and write about what I am hoping to accomplish with this endeavor.

I'm going to remain anonymous as much as possible since I plan to use this as a venting board and therapy.  

But first a little history & context:

I'm a Texas girl and always will be, however my circumstances have lead me to live in the Mid Atlantic. My home will forever be Texas and I hope one day to make it my physical home again.  While I am content (for the most part) where I am physically, it doesn't fill that gap living in Texas can achieve & only Texans truly understand this statement.

I was raised a Christian (Baptist to be exact), yet I now belong to and am an active member of a Methodist Church. God and I have our own agreement about what does and doesn't work for our beliefs and that's ok for us. It doesn't have to work for anyone else but us. I strive to be a better person everyday and he still forgives me for my failings. I won't go into this area much, but from time to time, I will write about my faith and how it affects my world.  

I'm married to a military man (DH no, not darling husband; more like dick head) whom I met in my hometown at the ripe young age of 17.  We dated off and on for 3 years before we finally married when I was 21.  We have been married for almost 19 years and have 2 sons, Jr & Munchkin. While I know that I love my husband, we have struggled for several years now to decide if we really want to be together.  At some points we knew we really didn't want to be together but money, kids, circumstances and idiocy has kept us together. This is mainly what I'll be writing about.  I need to make some very hard decisions and I really think the only way I can do this, is to write out my frustrations, feelings, disappointments, joys, hurts, and thoughts.  

You're welcome to come along for the ride, but I warn you now, it will not be pretty. I'll curse, praise, whine, bitch, laugh, moan, groan, complain, name call, pray, rant, and plenty of other things.  I will repeat myself, I will talk about some pretty personal things, I will ask questions that only I can answer, & I will ask for advice. I am looking for somewhere quiet to sit & cry, to shout to the world, share what I find funny, to whisper my fears, or to just contemplate what my world holds.  Don't get me wrong, I've got some great things going for me and I plan to share those too, but for the most part I need answers, I need to move forward, and I need to grow.  

I ask only one thing in return, 

DON'T JUDGE ME! I am my worst critic, and I don't need anymore negativity in my world. You don't like what I have to say, don't read it.  Haters will be removed.

So welcome to my crazy, messed up, discombobulated blog. Buckle up, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.